Keeping a Healthy Heart When Ministry Harms It
We all know that ministry can be hard and sometimes comes with pain. Sometimes the pain is deep and life-altering. In June of 2019, my world was turned upside down. People that I never imagined would began to attack. They were people I let into my life and opened my heart to. People I served alongside in ministry. Needless to say, I felt as if my world was thrown into absolute chaos. I questioned my call to ministry, I questioned my trust in Christians, and I even questioned if church was for me. I was devastated, and to make it worse, my wife and children were deeply hurt. How do you trust after this? How do you love others again? How do you keep going in ministry when it hurts you so deeply? These are questions I considered and prayed through for several months.
As I look back, there are a few things that God used to help keep me in ministry. Habakkuk 3:17-19 says, "Though the fig tree may not blossom, Nor fruit be on the vines; Though the labor of the olive may fail, And the fields yield no food; Though the flock may be cut off from the fold, And there be no herd in the stalls— Yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will joy in the God of my salvation. The Lord God is my strength; He will make my feet like deer’s feet, and He will make me walk on my high hills.” I needed to be reminded that when all seems lost, and there is no hope of a future, I can rejoice in the Lord. God is my strength, and He is the one who sustains me.
Looking to scripture for help and guidance was the next thing that I needed. Just as the psalmist wrote throughout Psalm 119, the Word of God is my teacher, my helper, my guide. All because it points me back to God.
God used the one thing that hurt me to help me, people. I didn’t want to trust them, I didn’t want to open up and let people in, but God knew I needed other Christians. I needed people to show me that though there are a few who are not Christlike, there are many who display the glory of God by sharing the love of God.
Through the pain that I experienced, I was able to reevaluate my heart & focus on ministry. I realized I had a problem where I thought ministry was what defined me. I tried to find my identity in ministry and being a pastor. I was wrong! It wasn’t until I lost my identity that I learned that long before I was a pastor, I am a child of God! I daily hold to Isaiah 43:1 - Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name; you are Mine.
How do you keep a healthy heart when ministry hurts? Stay focused on God as your strength and your portion, be Word-filled, and lean on those who stand ready to love and support you.
Stephen Ashmore
Lead Pastor | Kings Mills Baptist Church, Cincinnati, OH